So.... it's been in the news. I don't watch the news very often because it's boring, but you can't avoid it sometimes. Haiti. Apparently there was an earthquake.
And apparently the world is supposed to care.
I would say I don't understand what the hell is going on here, but I do. There's been a big disaster and everyone thinks that if they donate two dollars by texting on their cellphone, it makes them an upstanding citizen. Riiight...
Am I the only person who didn't know much about Haiti until this happened other than the fact that they were a poorly represented minority that all have bad Jamaican accents in movies and games? Oh, and apparently they love selling drugs. Now, the earth decides to swallow half the country and everyone is up in arms about how this is a 'horrible disaster that has killed thousands!' Where were these people a few months before this happened? Were any of them eagerly keeping track of Haiti's economic and political status to make sure these poor individuals that just got squashed like bugs were doing alright? Probably watching the new season of Lost. Right. An earthquake hits and suddenly the Grinch's heart grows 3 times larger? Why is it that it always takes a natural disaster for people to care about other people?
You know, I'm not racist at all. I have nothing against the people of Haiti and I don't think what happened there was a joke. But I'm going to be honest. I didn't care about Haiti before this happened, so suddenly caring about it now makes me feel like an inconsiderate twat. If I actually cared about these people I would have been keeping tabs on the country long before any of this happened. But in order for some people to feel like they're not a complete waste of resources they feel like they have to jump on every single crusade there is and throw their money at it because it makes them feel like they're being a part of something they don't even really care about. Everywhere you go there's things saying, "Would you like to make a donation to the Haiti Relief fund?" I have to say no. If I didn't, I'd be a hypocrite. And broke.
I'm sure some of you would say, "Well if you had family that died there, you'd care!" and the answer would be yes, I would. But I probably would have cared before the quake hit as well, because they're my fucking family. I'm not a heartless individual and if I could stop the quake from happening I would have. But suddenly pretending to give a damn about a bunch of people I didn't even know existed suddenly because CNN told me to feels kind of evil, in all honesty. You know, like that McDonalds Scholarship sort of evil. The kind they hide in fine print below the table-top ads for the new McStupid they have on the menu for $0.89. You know why McDonald's offers a scholarship? Not because they care if people are smart enough to find employment beyond their fine establishment. It's because they can offer that money up, not pay taxes on it and at the end of the year they can simply go, 'Oh? No takers? Well, if you insist...' and put it back in their pockets. It's that kind of evil.
Do these people need help? Yeah, but they obviously needed help way before this happened as well and no one gave a shit. I feel sorry for Haiti, I do.... but on the same token I really didn't care before and I really can't say I care now. Call me an asshole, but at least I'm an honest asshole.
Update:
There's another thing I have to say after reflecting on this post for a bit. It's not like I don't appreciate the sacrifices the men and women who have uprooted their lives to physically go over to the country and dig these people out of rubble with their bare hands. These people I respect, and I will gladly agree with their efforts. The one's I'm ranting about are the ones who sit in their BMW's in the middle of rush our traffic, hear a notice on the radio about the Haiti disaster without even knowing where Haiti is on a map, punch a few numbers in on their cellphone between sips of their non-fat soy chai-latte with no whip and think they're just as useful as the people pulling the chunks of debris off the victims. It's these people I'm bitching about. If you want to donate money be my guest, I'm sure they can use it, but don't go flaunting around the fact that you're suddenly Mother Teresa because you decided to get a Tall instead of Venti to help support the suffering of the Haitian people.
Friday, January 29, 2010
You must be this tall...
So, I've been tinkering. And editing. And tinkering. I like to tinker, it's fun. Fixed up the blog a bit, made it shiny. And bigger. Bigger is good.
So anyway, I'm toying around and I notice this little next blog button at the top and being the curious person I am, if there's a button and I don't know what it does, I just gotta press it. So I press it and it turns out it randomly throws me into one of my internet neighbor's house. 'Kay.
So I'm cycling through some of this stuff and I come to realize, "My god, there's housewives and soccermoms on the internet." I knew this was true in the back of my head, just like how you know your mom and dad have had sex at one point or another. It's just when faced with the reality, it's a bit more harsh on the brain. So I'm floating through and see pages about normal families that have nothing better to do than post about how little Tommy just coughed up his first tooth and they have to post the same picture in like 40 different angles just to get the point across that their little loinspawn is growing up. I don't like kids. I especially don't like babies. But you know, I can get past that, they exist, and everyone had to be an annoying brat at some time in their life. I'm willing to accept that. But dear god, do we need National Geographic style article on why your child is the most amazing thing in the world because he can go for 10 minutes without being cross-eyed and drooling on himself? Though, I have to admit for the average person that is quite an accomplishment in this day and age...
My point is... this never used to happen. The internet used to be this mystical space of dark corners and hidden gems that only those willing to delve into the depths were able to enjoy. Remember when Newgrounds was new and didn't care about offending anyone? That was the internet. Then the term 'user friendly' was announced sometime in early 1999 and suddenly the internet was open to anyone! Huzzah!
Oh wait, no that's not a good thing. I have to deal with these people in the real world. Why is it that this Martha Stewart irritation is flooding my digital vibe? I dunno. I don't claim to be more important than any of these people. That's not what I"m getting at. It's just the internet used to be my little playground, along with the rest of us denizens from years gone past. This was our turf. You know, it wouldn't be so bad if we got a little respect for being here first. It's like the occupation of America all over again. We're being sectonalized into little camps, which are getting smaller and smaller as the 'normal' people show up. Because 'normal' people are weird. 'Normal' people get offended. I mean hell, there's a warning you have to pass to get on my blog just because I occasionally use the word fuck. I mean technically I could turn it off, but all I need is little Timmy reading my shit and his mom deciding that I'm a bane to her son's existence because I use bad words on the internet, heaven fucking forbid. Every day you hear news reports of, "OMG, guess what?! We found naughty stuff on the internet! Who would do such a thing, those heathens!" because their little bubble world has been shattered by the fact that when you take away someone's face they don't really give a shit anymore about trying to keep up appearances.
Again, this isn't the core of what irritates me. If these delusional fucks wanna play in my pool, I don't mind. I'm not a greedy person, the internet is a great asset for everyone to enjoy, but when you start pissing in it and claiming that you can do it better because you're an important person with 5 kids who knows a lot of things about life, like grocery shopping and balancing a checkbook, I get a little miffed. Whatever. You're not in your world anymore. You're in mine. The rules are different here, and you don't get to vote. But as the saying goes, never underestimate the power of idiots in large numbers, and it rings true here as well. Get enough people to complain about something and the government tries to step in and say, "Oh god! You offended the sensibilities of someone who drives a minivan and pays taxes! You better not do that again!" Only they have no idea how this works either and try to apply real life laws to a digital society. Good luck with that. Meanwhile, I'm going to blow off some heads in Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory while you enjoy your Peggle. Just don't strain yourself, cause you might miss out on all the exciting offers the Google Chrome Yahoo Assfuck toolbar has to offer. Like knowing what the weather is like in Cuba.
So anyway, I'm toying around and I notice this little next blog button at the top and being the curious person I am, if there's a button and I don't know what it does, I just gotta press it. So I press it and it turns out it randomly throws me into one of my internet neighbor's house. 'Kay.
So I'm cycling through some of this stuff and I come to realize, "My god, there's housewives and soccermoms on the internet." I knew this was true in the back of my head, just like how you know your mom and dad have had sex at one point or another. It's just when faced with the reality, it's a bit more harsh on the brain. So I'm floating through and see pages about normal families that have nothing better to do than post about how little Tommy just coughed up his first tooth and they have to post the same picture in like 40 different angles just to get the point across that their little loinspawn is growing up. I don't like kids. I especially don't like babies. But you know, I can get past that, they exist, and everyone had to be an annoying brat at some time in their life. I'm willing to accept that. But dear god, do we need National Geographic style article on why your child is the most amazing thing in the world because he can go for 10 minutes without being cross-eyed and drooling on himself? Though, I have to admit for the average person that is quite an accomplishment in this day and age...
My point is... this never used to happen. The internet used to be this mystical space of dark corners and hidden gems that only those willing to delve into the depths were able to enjoy. Remember when Newgrounds was new and didn't care about offending anyone? That was the internet. Then the term 'user friendly' was announced sometime in early 1999 and suddenly the internet was open to anyone! Huzzah!
Oh wait, no that's not a good thing. I have to deal with these people in the real world. Why is it that this Martha Stewart irritation is flooding my digital vibe? I dunno. I don't claim to be more important than any of these people. That's not what I"m getting at. It's just the internet used to be my little playground, along with the rest of us denizens from years gone past. This was our turf. You know, it wouldn't be so bad if we got a little respect for being here first. It's like the occupation of America all over again. We're being sectonalized into little camps, which are getting smaller and smaller as the 'normal' people show up. Because 'normal' people are weird. 'Normal' people get offended. I mean hell, there's a warning you have to pass to get on my blog just because I occasionally use the word fuck. I mean technically I could turn it off, but all I need is little Timmy reading my shit and his mom deciding that I'm a bane to her son's existence because I use bad words on the internet, heaven fucking forbid. Every day you hear news reports of, "OMG, guess what?! We found naughty stuff on the internet! Who would do such a thing, those heathens!" because their little bubble world has been shattered by the fact that when you take away someone's face they don't really give a shit anymore about trying to keep up appearances.
Again, this isn't the core of what irritates me. If these delusional fucks wanna play in my pool, I don't mind. I'm not a greedy person, the internet is a great asset for everyone to enjoy, but when you start pissing in it and claiming that you can do it better because you're an important person with 5 kids who knows a lot of things about life, like grocery shopping and balancing a checkbook, I get a little miffed. Whatever. You're not in your world anymore. You're in mine. The rules are different here, and you don't get to vote. But as the saying goes, never underestimate the power of idiots in large numbers, and it rings true here as well. Get enough people to complain about something and the government tries to step in and say, "Oh god! You offended the sensibilities of someone who drives a minivan and pays taxes! You better not do that again!" Only they have no idea how this works either and try to apply real life laws to a digital society. Good luck with that. Meanwhile, I'm going to blow off some heads in Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory while you enjoy your Peggle. Just don't strain yourself, cause you might miss out on all the exciting offers the Google Chrome Yahoo Assfuck toolbar has to offer. Like knowing what the weather is like in Cuba.
I claim this land in the name of...!
So, here I am. Who am I? Well, as the title suggests, I'm an internet nobody. I'm not a famous artist, or a moderator for a gaming service. I'm just a presence on the internet that has been watching things for a long, long time.
You might be asking yourself then, "Why start a blog?"
There isn't a good answer for that, really. Mostly, there are things in this world that irk me. A lot. Like.. a lot a lot. And I've ranted to my friends, I've ranted to co-workers, I've ranted to complete strangers. I like to rant. It's my thing. So I figure, "Hey, you've been on the internet long enough, you should stake a claim somewhere." and since I have no actual talent at anything besides ranting, I've landed myself here. So, if you're interested in viewing the world from the eyes of an observer who has had just about enough of the bullshit the world has to offer then maybe you'll find a bit of entertainment to be had.
And since we're on the topic of blogs, that leads me to my first rant...
So, nearly every day I'm asked the same question by someone.... "Oh, you're on the internet? Do you have a Myspace?" Feh... If I had a quarter every single time this topic was brought up I would have been a very happy child whenever I went to the arcade. Unfortunately I can't seem to profit off of the mass stupidity of other people even though it seems like gold mine sitting in the open. No, I don't have a Myspace. You know why? Because I already did that. Back when it was called Geocities. And it sucked. It still sucks. I really don't have the time or want to submit myself to the mounds of immature teenage psycho drama that floods everyone's page. In fact, I don't even have to go to Myspace. I can describe nearly every page on the damn site. Picture this:
On the one side, you have horrible 'chat speak' posts about what people did over the weekend, and how they have some kind of stupid political view on something not important. Like the legalization of pot or some other pointless banter. In black text. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that the background image wasn't a picture of them and their friends in a poorly lit room making stupid faces at the camera. Tiled. Top it off with the fact that when you scroll, the content is the only thing that moves and the background doesn't, and you basically can't see shit. Luckily, most of the time you wouldn't want to. Then comes the background music. One horrible generic rap song on loop talking about whatever it is rap 'artists' do. Oh, and then there's the, 'check out this funny vid i just found' post on the side, linking to a Youtube video of a flash movie that was made in 1998... then take all that, copy and paste it about a hundred thousand times and you have Myspace in a nutshell.
Yeah, no thanks. I was tempted to go to Facebook, which is basically the same thing only with a different color scheme. I actually made an account there and then went to build a page and realized that the place is basically like a dating service for the socially inept. If it wasn't cramming fourty thousand links down my throat trying to get me to 'find friends on the internet' it was trying to get me to list everything about myself in detail like it was attempting to sell me on the black market to the highest bidder. I'll pass.
So, here I am at Blogspot. Seems simple enough, good interface, full control over what people can and can't see, and thankfully no constant reminders that there are 'friends on the interwebz' that I desperately need to have linked to my page. But, it's my first day, so maybe I just haven't opened all the closet doors yet. We'll see how it goes.
...and no, the name is not based off "A Clockwork Orange". Never saw the movie, and I have no intention to. Don't ask.
P.S. By the way, I did a search and apparently there is A clockwork kitten on Myspace, but rest assured that artsy little retard is not me. I feel dirty.
You might be asking yourself then, "Why start a blog?"
There isn't a good answer for that, really. Mostly, there are things in this world that irk me. A lot. Like.. a lot a lot. And I've ranted to my friends, I've ranted to co-workers, I've ranted to complete strangers. I like to rant. It's my thing. So I figure, "Hey, you've been on the internet long enough, you should stake a claim somewhere." and since I have no actual talent at anything besides ranting, I've landed myself here. So, if you're interested in viewing the world from the eyes of an observer who has had just about enough of the bullshit the world has to offer then maybe you'll find a bit of entertainment to be had.
And since we're on the topic of blogs, that leads me to my first rant...
So, nearly every day I'm asked the same question by someone.... "Oh, you're on the internet? Do you have a Myspace?" Feh... If I had a quarter every single time this topic was brought up I would have been a very happy child whenever I went to the arcade. Unfortunately I can't seem to profit off of the mass stupidity of other people even though it seems like gold mine sitting in the open. No, I don't have a Myspace. You know why? Because I already did that. Back when it was called Geocities. And it sucked. It still sucks. I really don't have the time or want to submit myself to the mounds of immature teenage psycho drama that floods everyone's page. In fact, I don't even have to go to Myspace. I can describe nearly every page on the damn site. Picture this:
On the one side, you have horrible 'chat speak' posts about what people did over the weekend, and how they have some kind of stupid political view on something not important. Like the legalization of pot or some other pointless banter. In black text. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that the background image wasn't a picture of them and their friends in a poorly lit room making stupid faces at the camera. Tiled. Top it off with the fact that when you scroll, the content is the only thing that moves and the background doesn't, and you basically can't see shit. Luckily, most of the time you wouldn't want to. Then comes the background music. One horrible generic rap song on loop talking about whatever it is rap 'artists' do. Oh, and then there's the, 'check out this funny vid i just found' post on the side, linking to a Youtube video of a flash movie that was made in 1998... then take all that, copy and paste it about a hundred thousand times and you have Myspace in a nutshell.
Yeah, no thanks. I was tempted to go to Facebook, which is basically the same thing only with a different color scheme. I actually made an account there and then went to build a page and realized that the place is basically like a dating service for the socially inept. If it wasn't cramming fourty thousand links down my throat trying to get me to 'find friends on the internet' it was trying to get me to list everything about myself in detail like it was attempting to sell me on the black market to the highest bidder. I'll pass.
So, here I am at Blogspot. Seems simple enough, good interface, full control over what people can and can't see, and thankfully no constant reminders that there are 'friends on the interwebz' that I desperately need to have linked to my page. But, it's my first day, so maybe I just haven't opened all the closet doors yet. We'll see how it goes.
...and no, the name is not based off "A Clockwork Orange". Never saw the movie, and I have no intention to. Don't ask.
P.S. By the way, I did a search and apparently there is A clockwork kitten on Myspace, but rest assured that artsy little retard is not me. I feel dirty.
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