Melts in your mouth...

I think it's about time to dust this thing off for another round of "When stupid people attack: Celebrity Edition". In recent news (I.E. I was browsing the Yahoo Homepage while collecting my e-mail) it would seem that noted famous person Naomi Campbell is up in arms over an apparently racist ad that used her name. Now, seeing as I don't normally keep up with celebrities that much, I know that Naomi Campbell is famous for something but right now I can't really recall what for. But, since she's in the news I guess I'll take the media's word for it that she's important enough to have her asinine opinions put up for the world to see.

Actually, give me a second. Let me Google this shit...

Oh, so apparently she's a supermodel. This is delightfully ironic. So, more or less she's famous for being sexually attractive an the only reason she's in the position to make this kind of a stupid fuss is because people like to look at her tits. Yes, I can totally see how this would make her perfect for being at the forefront of any kind of 'equal rights' movement. This should be entertaining...

Now, before we get too far into this delightful little nugget of WTF, let's go over something. I'm not a racist. I believe everyone has the equal right to present themselves as a complete moron without bias. In fact, most of the time I can't tell the difference between people because they all tend to be just as dumb as everyone else, just in a different shade. With that out of the way, let's move on to the chewy center of this whole thing...

So apparently Mrs. Campbell was offended at this advertisement that ran in Europe for a short period of time:

Now, apparently this ad is racist because it's comparing her to chocolate and because they share the same color, it's offensive.

Excuse me, what? Are you serious? So... let me get this straight.... this woman is seriously OFFENDED that someone would compare her to the two things most people love: Chocolate and Diamonds. In fact, it's chocolate in a PILE of diamonds. Holy fuck, I mean... maybe I'm just crazy here, but I think there are worse things to be compared to. On top of that, it's common knowledge that everyone loves the chocolate. And correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the black community been referring themselves to chocolate for years? Now all of a sudden it's offensive? Really? Is there a newsletter we're supposed to sign up for so we can be notified when a word that was previously a compliment is now an insult (And apparently vice-versa in some cases....)

You know, it occurs to me now that maybe Naomi considered the ad more of a challenge than anything else. I mean, it really does take a Diva to get upset about being compared to a fucking bar of chocolate. Maybe she saw the ad, and was like, "Oh, you think you can be more pampered and dramatic than I can? You've got another thing coming, Cadbury! Ohohohoho!" Okay, so maybe she didn't include the evil laugh.

And you know what the worst part about this whole story is? Cadbury bowed down and apologized for the ad. Another blow to common sense. I don't think it can take much more of this abuse before the whole world crumbles into a giant writhing mass of bitch-fests documented on film and put on TV as the next reality show. I'm all for things that are ACTUALLY offensive being handled accordingly, but seriously the only valid argument Naomi has in this is that they apparently used her name without permission. And even then it's a flimsy claim as they didn't even use her full name, but I'm willing to give this air-headed little starlet the benefit of the doubt. The problem is though, she didn't sue because they used her name. She sued by playing the fucking race card. Is anyone else getting tired of this? I know I am.

Maybe if people started playing with a full deck, they wouldn't have to keep playing the same damn card over and over again.