Wednesday, February 16, 2011

We got a long way to go and a short time to get there...

It's link-drop time everybody! Yes, I've been cruising the forums over at BlogCatalog because I have nothing better to do with my life but hit 'refresh' on a webpage at 6 a.m. when I should be sleeping for work. But since when have I ever done anything productive? I sure as hell don't plan to start now.

Anyway, so I was flipping along and this guy moooooog35 (Yes. That's his real name. Ask him.) whom I've not directly chatted with but may have possibly read the same posts I have and commented on them as well drew my attention with his most recent post about online dating services. You can entertain yourself with the read here:

The guy is witty, and... well... devilishly clever. But my personal comments, or reason for this post isn't just about praise for his clever ruse, it's just an intro for one of my personal points of hatred: Dating sites. I mean, I get the gist of the whole thing. It's like blind dates, only over the internet. I mean, fuck... you can get pretty much everything else online, why not a girlfriend/boyfriend, right? It was bound to happen. But it kinda makes be sad because our society has degenerated so much that people aren't even looking to build meaningful relationships anymore. They're looking for pre-packaged, ready-to-serve relationships you can order online, which is what most dating sites are. You set up a profile, which consists of an image of the product, it's various features and warranties, occasionally some accolades on it's abilities, and price tag. Is this what we've been reduced to? Taking our lives, boxing them up and putting them on a shelf in hopes someone is desperate enough to pick it up? What ever happened to just meeting people anymore? Talking with them and getting to know them as people, not 'potential relationship candidates'. This is why I hate dating sites. Because these people aren't 'friends'. Most of society doesn't even know what the word 'friend' means anymore, thanks to twitter, myspace, facebook and it's ilk. You ask someone how many friends they have, they say things like '400' or so, or even in the thousands if they're willing to post half-naked pictures of themselves on their profile page. Just who are these 'friends' of yours? Most of them you've probably never even met, or know, but they 'liked' you on Facebook and are now your 'friend'. And now, we're going the next step and taking girl/boyfriend and convoluting that as well. I already feel that the 'friend' part of boyfriend/girlfriend isn't real. Most people in relationships aren't friends at all. They're mutual partners in an agreement of some sort. It's like a business deal. Each one comes with a set of conditions that have to be met or the merger falls apart. What the fuck is this? Since when has the simple act of getting to know someone else become a re-run of the last 'The Apprentice' episode? Are you people serious? And taking a step back, what the fuck is the 'like' button for anyway? I asked a friend of mine (A real one, with flesh and blood who I actually talk to on a regular basis in the real world, just so we're clear.) who has a Facebook about this. This is how the discussion went:

Me: "What's the 'like' button for?"
Them: "Oh, you hit that if you like something they did."
Me: "But.... what does it do? Does it count for anything? What's it's purpose."
Them: "Just to let them know you like it."
Me: "But... you know you like them, and if they're your friend, they probably already know you like them."
Them: "Yeah, which is why you push the 'like' button."
Me: "...I see..."

I had to sit down for a second to process this. I still don't quite get it, but I just pretended I did so my brain didn't melt. These people vote, doesn't that scare anyone else? Just me? Anyway, back on topic... I'm just so tired of this bullshit surrounding dating and it's just gotten worse and worse. I don't blame technology though, it was bound to happen eventually. What gets me is just how many people fall into this bullshit. No one should be 'looking for love'. You know what you should be looking for? A life. One that involves more than pandering to some petty desire for companionship. If love finds you along the way, then great. I'm sure you will be much more satisfied with it than your Wal-Mart knockoff boyfriend you picked up on last week. "Oh! But our profiles match so well!" Yeah, well no shit. Because everyone pretends to want the same thing. Of course you're going to find someone willing to give you a shot, I mean fuck, they've posted on an online dating site, it's not like they're beating them off with a stick over here.

Before anyone signs up for a dating website, think about this: YOU'RE about to sign up for a dating website because you're so socially inept that finding romance in your normal life is simply too hard. Guess what? That's the kind of people you're going to find online because that's why THEY signed up. So you're going to be socially inept together. Great. I can hear the church bells now.

You know, it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for this unnecessary desire to be in a relationship that is implanted in our brains by society. Most people believe that if you're not in a relationship with someone, obviously you're a fuckup in some way, shape or form, and the only way to validate your own existence is by attaching yourself to someone else. People will find each other in due time as they go through life, the process is not one that you should try to rush just to feel like you're 'keeping up' with all your 'friends' so they'll 'like' you more. The whole concept of dating is stupid though, at it's core. You don't start a healthy relationship with the full intent of getting involved with someone on that level right out of the gate. That is not love. That is lust. There is a difference. Not that I'm saying that lust is a bad thing, just that it's different. The problem is, this distinction is blurred so badly these days that people don't even realize there is a difference. It's like I said in my valentine's day post... society has trained us to believe that having sex with someone who we're not in love with is an evil thing to do. Why, I don't know. Probably to sell more candy, flowers and jewelry. Or so more people have a reason to go to church. Either way, that whole concept is retarded. People like to have sex. Sorry, but it's true, and I don't care how conservative you are, even if you have a signed poster of Bill O'Reily on your wall next to your bookshelf with 15 versions of the bible, if you're human you probably like sex.

So what happens when people who like sex are told they can't have it unless they're in a relationship? They start looking for one as fast as possible, because that means they can start having sex sooner. Oh, sure, they like to say that they just want someone to share their lives with... but have you LOOKED at online dating sites? Fuck, I wouldn't even want to spend 5 minutes in line at Starbucks with most of these people and you want to spend your LIFE with them? Standards, people.... standards. Do we not have them any more? Did we trade them in when we signed up for Facebook? And of course, guess who gets to deal with all the bullshit drama when all this fake shit blows up in their face and they don't know what to do because they lost their 'soul mate'. Well fuck, if I were going to treat my heart like a TV, I'd just buy a new one when the old one breaks.

Or you could go the old-fashioned route and call the repair-man. It works for porn.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Get Valentine...

Ha. Well, despite the world's determination to destroy me at every turn, I'm still alive. Well, the outside part of me is. I think I died inside at age 8. No one brought me flowers though.

Isn't it odd how flowers are a catch-all for emotion? You love someone, send them flowers. You feel bad for someone, send them flowers. Someone dies, send them flowers. It's like emotional duct tape. And ironically, just as flowers wilt and die over time, so do most of the feelings they represent. But this little rant isn't about heartbreak, despite the intro. You'd have to have a working heart for it to break. Luckily I've become so jaded that my heart consists of a material still waiting on a patent from the Rubbermaid corporation.

Not to say I LIKE Valentine's day. I kinda don't. I mean, it's not really as bad as things like Christmas or Thanksgiving, where everyone pretends to like each other just a little more so they don't seem like a douche-bag at the dinner table, because Valentine's day is limited to just mind-fucking your significant other, and not everyone you meet. I can respect that, as 90% of relationships these days are based on nothing more than physical attraction masked with a sense of, "Well we can't fuck if we don't love each other, because that would be wrong." So we all play pretend to make ourselves feel better about being the little slut bags we are. Oh, yes there are some relationships that have true depth and meaning to them, but in the emotional rainstorm that is Valentines day, most of them are just parking lot puddles getting deep enough to possibly wet your socks. They'll dry up by morning.

But, my disdain for Valentine's day doesn't stem from being heartbroken or any of that pre-teen Twilight nonsense. Mine comes from way, way back in elementary school. Anyone who went to public school knows the 'project' I'm about to talk about. You know the one where the teacher hands out paper bags and you decorate it with silly hearts and crap and cut a little slit in it so you can make it into a shitty little mailbox. You remember that, I know you do. Of course, part of this project also involved going down to the dollar store and picking up a pack of the cheapest 'kids' valentines cards you can find, you know, the pack with like 20 or 30 in it, that all say the same damn thing. Then, your job is to walk around and stick one in everyone's box. Then at the end of the whole charade, you open your box and see the same fucking shit as everyone else and the teacher tries to play on how much everyone must like you even though you know it was fucking MANDATORY for them to give you something. This just irked me as a kid, and it still does to this day. 364 days out of the year, I was surrounded by people who treated me like shit every single day, could care less if I died tomorrow, and would only miss me because then they'd have to find someone else to torment, when they'd already invested so much time in me, and then you try to tell me that ONE fucking day out of the entire year they CARE so much because they gave me a scrap of paper with my name spelled wrong on it under a picture of Batman and Robin holding a big pink heart? I may have been in 4th or 5th grade, but come on, that's just insulting.

Oh, but it does get better. You see, kids are sneaky and even if you force them to care, they'll find ways to show they don't. Like getting the valentines that are designed to go around a piece of candy, only all you get is the paper and all the people they ACTUALLY care about gets the candy part. Not that I particularly like candy, but still it's the statement that was most irritating.

Yeah, I know it's childish, and stupid to care about something like this at my age, but these are the things that stick with you as you get older. Or maybe I'm just crazy. I mean I do rant about nothing to a bunch of people I don't know, expecting someone to actually care. Maybe I am crazy. I dunno. Either way, Valentine's Day sucks, but there are other holidays that are worse. I mean, at least I can just ignore Valentine's Day. Most people don't throw it in my face, so I have to be thankful for that at least. But other ones, like St. Patrick's Day... God, I'm seriously not looking forward to that one. When I work, I have to wear a uniform. That uniform does not have green on it. You can see where I'm going with this.


Anyway, as for why I haven't posted for like... months.... well it's a mixture of being busy, lazy, and forgetful. Yes, I know. It's not a valid excuse. But whatever, if I had readers they've probably abandoned me by now and for good reason. So, I don't take it to heart, as it's my fault as usual. I swear, I should have been born a cat, then my lack of attention span would be considered 'cute'. And people would feed me. And pet me. And I'd be happy. Well, until I puked on the rug... but I'm sure I'd forget about that as well as soon as I found something shiny to play with.

(By the way, anyone who gets the reference in this post's title gets 5 points. Hint: Apple IIe.)