Wednesday, February 16, 2011

We got a long way to go and a short time to get there...

It's link-drop time everybody! Yes, I've been cruising the forums over at BlogCatalog because I have nothing better to do with my life but hit 'refresh' on a webpage at 6 a.m. when I should be sleeping for work. But since when have I ever done anything productive? I sure as hell don't plan to start now.

Anyway, so I was flipping along and this guy moooooog35 (Yes. That's his real name. Ask him.) whom I've not directly chatted with but may have possibly read the same posts I have and commented on them as well drew my attention with his most recent post about online dating services. You can entertain yourself with the read here:

The guy is witty, and... well... devilishly clever. But my personal comments, or reason for this post isn't just about praise for his clever ruse, it's just an intro for one of my personal points of hatred: Dating sites. I mean, I get the gist of the whole thing. It's like blind dates, only over the internet. I mean, fuck... you can get pretty much everything else online, why not a girlfriend/boyfriend, right? It was bound to happen. But it kinda makes be sad because our society has degenerated so much that people aren't even looking to build meaningful relationships anymore. They're looking for pre-packaged, ready-to-serve relationships you can order online, which is what most dating sites are. You set up a profile, which consists of an image of the product, it's various features and warranties, occasionally some accolades on it's abilities, and price tag. Is this what we've been reduced to? Taking our lives, boxing them up and putting them on a shelf in hopes someone is desperate enough to pick it up? What ever happened to just meeting people anymore? Talking with them and getting to know them as people, not 'potential relationship candidates'. This is why I hate dating sites. Because these people aren't 'friends'. Most of society doesn't even know what the word 'friend' means anymore, thanks to twitter, myspace, facebook and it's ilk. You ask someone how many friends they have, they say things like '400' or so, or even in the thousands if they're willing to post half-naked pictures of themselves on their profile page. Just who are these 'friends' of yours? Most of them you've probably never even met, or know, but they 'liked' you on Facebook and are now your 'friend'. And now, we're going the next step and taking girl/boyfriend and convoluting that as well. I already feel that the 'friend' part of boyfriend/girlfriend isn't real. Most people in relationships aren't friends at all. They're mutual partners in an agreement of some sort. It's like a business deal. Each one comes with a set of conditions that have to be met or the merger falls apart. What the fuck is this? Since when has the simple act of getting to know someone else become a re-run of the last 'The Apprentice' episode? Are you people serious? And taking a step back, what the fuck is the 'like' button for anyway? I asked a friend of mine (A real one, with flesh and blood who I actually talk to on a regular basis in the real world, just so we're clear.) who has a Facebook about this. This is how the discussion went:

Me: "What's the 'like' button for?"
Them: "Oh, you hit that if you like something they did."
Me: "But.... what does it do? Does it count for anything? What's it's purpose."
Them: "Just to let them know you like it."
Me: "But... you know you like them, and if they're your friend, they probably already know you like them."
Them: "Yeah, which is why you push the 'like' button."
Me: "...I see..."

I had to sit down for a second to process this. I still don't quite get it, but I just pretended I did so my brain didn't melt. These people vote, doesn't that scare anyone else? Just me? Anyway, back on topic... I'm just so tired of this bullshit surrounding dating and it's just gotten worse and worse. I don't blame technology though, it was bound to happen eventually. What gets me is just how many people fall into this bullshit. No one should be 'looking for love'. You know what you should be looking for? A life. One that involves more than pandering to some petty desire for companionship. If love finds you along the way, then great. I'm sure you will be much more satisfied with it than your Wal-Mart knockoff boyfriend you picked up on last week. "Oh! But our profiles match so well!" Yeah, well no shit. Because everyone pretends to want the same thing. Of course you're going to find someone willing to give you a shot, I mean fuck, they've posted on an online dating site, it's not like they're beating them off with a stick over here.

Before anyone signs up for a dating website, think about this: YOU'RE about to sign up for a dating website because you're so socially inept that finding romance in your normal life is simply too hard. Guess what? That's the kind of people you're going to find online because that's why THEY signed up. So you're going to be socially inept together. Great. I can hear the church bells now.

You know, it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for this unnecessary desire to be in a relationship that is implanted in our brains by society. Most people believe that if you're not in a relationship with someone, obviously you're a fuckup in some way, shape or form, and the only way to validate your own existence is by attaching yourself to someone else. People will find each other in due time as they go through life, the process is not one that you should try to rush just to feel like you're 'keeping up' with all your 'friends' so they'll 'like' you more. The whole concept of dating is stupid though, at it's core. You don't start a healthy relationship with the full intent of getting involved with someone on that level right out of the gate. That is not love. That is lust. There is a difference. Not that I'm saying that lust is a bad thing, just that it's different. The problem is, this distinction is blurred so badly these days that people don't even realize there is a difference. It's like I said in my valentine's day post... society has trained us to believe that having sex with someone who we're not in love with is an evil thing to do. Why, I don't know. Probably to sell more candy, flowers and jewelry. Or so more people have a reason to go to church. Either way, that whole concept is retarded. People like to have sex. Sorry, but it's true, and I don't care how conservative you are, even if you have a signed poster of Bill O'Reily on your wall next to your bookshelf with 15 versions of the bible, if you're human you probably like sex.

So what happens when people who like sex are told they can't have it unless they're in a relationship? They start looking for one as fast as possible, because that means they can start having sex sooner. Oh, sure, they like to say that they just want someone to share their lives with... but have you LOOKED at online dating sites? Fuck, I wouldn't even want to spend 5 minutes in line at Starbucks with most of these people and you want to spend your LIFE with them? Standards, people.... standards. Do we not have them any more? Did we trade them in when we signed up for Facebook? And of course, guess who gets to deal with all the bullshit drama when all this fake shit blows up in their face and they don't know what to do because they lost their 'soul mate'. Well fuck, if I were going to treat my heart like a TV, I'd just buy a new one when the old one breaks.

Or you could go the old-fashioned route and call the repair-man. It works for porn.


  1. Woh, you do have a sharp tung, or should I say pen, now don't ya, hehehehe. Well, you've got a point, or actually, you've got quite a few, but I happen to know several couples who met online and, they seem quite happy with their package deals from, so I can't agree with you all the way.
    Dating is of course initially about lust and , not love. Noone would think twice about setting up a date with someone they didn't find atractive. But as long as you're aware of that, I don't see why you couldn't just as well have some fun with someone from a dating site as well as with the guy, or chik you met at the bar last saturday. Truth be told, if you're interested in talking to the person as well, you'll probably get more out of it with the one you met online, cause you already know that you have similar interests and, hopefully you've been smart enough to confirm that for a while over the phone, before you meet them in real life.
    Yes, there are tons of people who have to pretend to be in love to justify having sex with someone, but they're gonna have the same aproach whether they find somebody online, or in real life, so I'm not so sure it really makes a difference, as those people are gonna be desperate to get in a relationship no matter where they're looking.
    As for being socially inept, well, I would definitely consider people who are validating them selves by how many likes they get on FB, or how many text messages they've recieved today, as being just that. But that is not the only people who are dating online. I know, cause I would think them quite shallow and, I'm pretty sure I couldn't be friends with them if that was the case. You'll just have to take my word for it.