I claim this land in the name of...!

So, here I am. Who am I? Well, as the title suggests, I'm an internet nobody. I'm not a famous artist, or a moderator for a gaming service. I'm just a presence on the internet that has been watching things for a long, long time.

You might be asking yourself then, "Why start a blog?"

There isn't a good answer for that, really. Mostly, there are things in this world that irk me. A lot. Like.. a lot a lot. And I've ranted to my friends, I've ranted to co-workers, I've ranted to complete strangers. I like to rant. It's my thing. So I figure, "Hey, you've been on the internet long enough, you should stake a claim somewhere." and since I have no actual talent at anything besides ranting, I've landed myself here. So, if you're interested in viewing the world from the eyes of an observer who has had just about enough of the bullshit the world has to offer then maybe you'll find a bit of entertainment to be had.

And since we're on the topic of blogs, that leads me to my first rant...

So, nearly every day I'm asked the same question by someone.... "Oh, you're on the internet? Do you have a Myspace?" Feh... If I had a quarter every single time this topic was brought up I would have been a very happy child whenever I went to the arcade. Unfortunately I can't seem to profit off of the mass stupidity of other people even though it seems like gold mine sitting in the open. No, I don't have a Myspace. You know why? Because I already did that. Back when it was called Geocities. And it sucked. It still sucks. I really don't have the time or want to submit myself to the mounds of immature teenage psycho drama that floods everyone's page. In fact, I don't even have to go to Myspace. I can describe nearly every page on the damn site. Picture this:

On the one side, you have horrible 'chat speak' posts about what people did over the weekend, and how they have some kind of stupid political view on something not important. Like the legalization of pot or some other pointless banter. In black text. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that the background image wasn't a picture of them and their friends in a poorly lit room making stupid faces at the camera. Tiled. Top it off with the fact that when you scroll, the content is the only thing that moves and the background doesn't, and you basically can't see shit. Luckily, most of the time you wouldn't want to. Then comes the background music. One horrible generic rap song on loop talking about whatever it is rap 'artists' do. Oh, and then there's the, 'check out this funny vid i just found' post on the side, linking to a Youtube video of a flash movie that was made in 1998... then take all that, copy and paste it about a hundred thousand times and you have Myspace in a nutshell.

Yeah, no thanks. I was tempted to go to Facebook, which is basically the same thing only with a different color scheme. I actually made an account there and then went to build a page and realized that the place is basically like a dating service for the socially inept. If it wasn't cramming fourty thousand links down my throat trying to get me to 'find friends on the internet' it was trying to get me to list everything about myself in detail like it was attempting to sell me on the black market to the highest bidder. I'll pass.

So, here I am at Blogspot. Seems simple enough, good interface, full control over what people can and can't see, and thankfully no constant reminders that there are 'friends on the interwebz' that I desperately need to have linked to my page. But, it's my first day, so maybe I just haven't opened all the closet doors yet. We'll see how it goes.

...and no, the name is not based off "A Clockwork Orange". Never saw the movie, and I have no intention to. Don't ask.

P.S. By the way, I did a search and apparently there is A clockwork kitten on Myspace, but rest assured that artsy little retard is not me. I feel dirty.