Thursday, April 15, 2010


Okay, so the other day I had to get gas for my car. It happens, I hate it because then I have to stand outside in the cold (It was late) and spend money. I'm all for spending money if I get something awesome out of it, like shoes or something, but no... all I get is another week's worth of going to work. So I'm not particularly thrilled about the whole prospect, but it has to be done.

Anyway, as I stated it was late so they closed the little mini-mart thing and you had to pay through the little window with the microphone. It's a bit inconvenient, but for just pumping gas, it's not a big deal. However, that night something interesting happened. I was on my way to the window and some guy is trying to buy a pack of cigarettes. No big deal, I guess. Happens all the time, but apparently this intellectual gold mine had 'forgotten his ID at home'. Like that's ever been true. (Well, actually, this one time I had to buy a bottle of Captain Morgan for a party I was going to, and DID actually leave my ID at home, but that's beside the point.)

So of course, in tune with what I will refer to as 'The Law' the guy in the little glass box informs our protagonist that without a proper ID, he can't sell him cigarettes. At first, our hero seems defeated, and turns with that dejected puppy head lowered pose as he makes his way to the car. The one he drove here. Without a license. But wait, there is still hope! I could hear the frazzle of a fuse blowing as our protagonist comes up with a cunning plan!

Oh wait, no. He just asks the same question again. But louder. And amazingly enough, he gets the same answer. Who would have seen THAT ONE coming, eh? But does that hinder his quest for charred lungs? Of course not! It's obvious that the evil man in the glass box is denying this poor person's constitutional right to slowly kill himself. So, being the genius that he is, he begins to get irate and asks to speak to a manager. At 3am. I doubt they even have a janitor on duty at this hour. Oh, but it gets better. Not to be outdone he then demands for the attendants name, threatening with legal action...

I'm going to pause here, and break away from our scenario with a little dose of reality: What the FUCK are you going to do? Sue the guy for upholding the law? I sat there dumbfounded as this whole thing took place because the level of idiocy required to come up with this plan seemed immeasurable. He actually threatened legal action because someone wouldn't break the law for him. Are you serious? On top of that, he was driving without a license, and stated that he was driving without a license? Is his plan to go to prison so he can pawn his ass for cigarettes? While I admit if this were true, I'd have to admire the man's dedication to cancer, however I don't think that was his master plan.

I then got a little pissed off because I saw what was going on here. The guy was simply trying to bully his way into getting what he wanted with no disregard for anyone else. The poor attendant probably just wanted to go home, hates his job and the last thing he needs is some fucking moron harassing him for something that's not even his fault. I felt bad. I really did. If I wasn't scared of getting shot, I'd probably have walked over there and chewed the guy out for being such a waste of flesh. So, after the guy finally left - without his cigarettes - I paid for my gas. I almost wanted to apologize to the attendant for being part of the same race as that scumbag, but I figured that might be kind of creepy, so I kept it to myself.

I seriously could not believe what I just saw. It's times like this I wish I'd gone into law enforcement for the soul purpose of getting rid of the dredges of society that wander about, but I'm too cowardly to put myself in the line of fire. The vastness of human stupidity seems to grow with each passing day. Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll go critical and implode on itself...


  1. It's funny the kind of things people witness: car crashes, homeless people peeing, public disputes, etc. I probably would of done the same and minded my own business. No need to make matters any worse.

    Btw you're a amazing writer, quite inspiring

  2. Some Obs (observations); be thankful you have a job to drive to; security glass does seem anti-social but store clerks don't want to get shot; and smoking is bad for your health.

    Until neXt time...

  3. thanks for sharing that story. It shows why you don't want a job dealing with the public at 3am. If you work nights it should be something not involved with the type of people you find at 3 am roaming the streets. Of course you were there but I'll assume it was due to your work schedule and not because of drinking or looking for whatever.
    If the moron was gone I would have talked with the attendant. The support of a normal person would have been welcomed.

  4. good piece of writing. Honestly hadn't expected that!