I try not to talk too much about things directly related to my personal life, as the internet is a big place and you never know who gets into what, but I have some things to say simply because I cannot take it anymore.
For a bit of background, I'm currently working for an locally owned, independent restaurant chain. It pays the bills, so for now, it's what's getting me by. We've all had one of 'those' jobs. Anyway, as such, I get to interact with a plethora of different people from all walks of life. It's a cultural menagerie that is sometimes kind of entertaining to watch. However, I've come to one ultimate conclusion:
A lot of people are really stupid.
I know I've said this before. A lot. But in this particular case, I really really mean it. So, as a public service, I'd like to go over some basic things that people should know when they walk into a restaurant of any kind.
1. When there's a sign that says, 'Order Here' in big bold letters, it generally means you don't have to ask, "Can I order here?"
2. When you order something plain, that generally means it comes with nothing but the base materials of the meal. That does not mean it comes with mayo. That's not what plain is.
2a. After ordering something plain, it is unnecessary to add, "With no onions." that already comes with the 'plain' bit.
3. When someone asks you what size you'd like, "Yes" is not considered a size.
3a. "Yes" is also not a flavor.
4. As a courtesy, you will sometimes be asked if you wanted something you may have forgotten. Like fries, or a drink. It would be in your best interest to listen to what people are asking you, instead of going, "No thanks, but let me get two fries and a large Coke with that."
4. "Root beer Soda" is redundant. Root beer only comes in one state: Soda. So, there's no reason to get in your car vehicle, drive down the road street, and come into the restaurant food place and order a root beer soda.
5. When you have the choice between Large and Small, "Medium" is not an option. Even if you ask for it twice.
5a. Unless specifically stated on the menu, "Regular" is also not a size.
6. If there are no numbers on the menu, do not expect us to know what you want when you order a "Number 1."
7. Do not order a bacon double cheese burger with extra cheese, two corn dogs, two fries and a small Diet Coke. We will laugh at you when you're not looking.
8. If you are going to throw garbage on the floor, at least have the common decency to do it when no one is looking directly at you. Especially if it's an employee holding a broom and dustpan.
9. If there are 5 people in line behind you waiting to order, it's probably not worth it to spend 10 minutes digging for 28 cents in change if you don't have to. You are not making things easier on anybody.
10. If you want something 'well done' it's probably best to let us know before we wrap it up and hand it to you.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, but hopefully this is enough to illustrate the fact that being a moron can happen to anyone, at any time. The best way to prevent yourself from looking like a complete idiot is to think before you speak. It works wonders. You should try it some time.